What is the problem?
What is it about a man that makes him so hard to live with? That is the question i am asking today. I know that alot of the people leaving comments here are women so i think you need to give me some ideas.
If you have read any of my blog at all you know that i recently moved back in with my wife, i was only gone for a few days. I moved back in because i love her, and i want to make my marriage work this time. This being my 3rd one i need to try to make one of them work.
For a week or two the sparks where flying and things seemed to be alot better. But i guess in my infinite wisdom i pissed her off again and i am getting the cold shoulder again. Ok i am sure you want to know what i did. Well we had a joint bank account and we both have cell phones on a family plan. When i left she opened her own bank account and purchased a cell phone in her name only. Now you need to know that she complained about the cell service we where using, said that the quality of the calls and the areas she need to make calls in she had no tower.
And some of that is true.
I had a year of contract left on the cell phones we where using, so i am still paying for both of them and she is paying her own cell bill. Which puts us in a little bit of a finacial bind but not bad.
The new bank account is in her name only, and she still has her name on our other account, so here is the problem she was writing checks out of our account and the only money going into that account is from my check. So i told her that i did not want her writing checks from that account with out asking me first, since i dont have access to her account.
That is when her head exploded and started turning around backwards. So this morning i have my own check book and her debit card.
I guess i am in the dog house again! I just want some feed back, am i being a dick? Do you think i am wrong? And does this sound unresonable?
Later
Twisted
posted by twizted @ 7:59 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Oooh, money. It's such a sensitive area anyhow, it might not matter how you approach it, but..
Maybe you could have said since we have seperate accounts now, we need to figure out what we will spend on what from each?
But if she was just buying stuff for herself from it, and not household things, or bills, she shoulda used her own account. It's just a tough subject...
Yes i think money and sex are the too most fought about things in a marriage.
And you dont ever get enough of either.
LOL
lolol..aww this is a toughie, are you being unreasonable...hell NO!
Does she want this to work too?
After being gone only a few days she opens her own account?????
Watch ya back babe!
First good thing: you recognize some problems and are not just casting blame and want this marriage to work. I can only give comments that relate to my marriage and how I was brought up. Been married 25 yrs. and we have always had a joint chk. account and it has worked. I believe 'trust' is a HUGE issue in all this. Also, neither one of us are spend freaks so we never got into "why did you buy that?" If either one of you have that problem and doesn't want to address it (denial), then, a counselor of some sort would help. If either one of you are against that, then, it could be a struggle. A tip that is related to a 'better' marriage that many men would frown upon but it will REALLY get your wife's attention and make her very happy: particiapte in all household 'crap', I know you don't want to hear this but, try it for a couple weeks and watch her mood and attitude toward you completely shift. I mean, pitch in (without announcing it) with laundry, folding and putting away clothes, cooking or bringing home dinner, cleaning the bathroom (and toliet), if their are kids- volunteer to drive them here and there, do haircuts, school shopping stuff, doctor appts., volunteer to do grocery shopping (if she says you don't know what she likes to buy, ask if you can join her in shopping- be ready to pick her up from fainting), and... if you really want sex.... spend time making her feel desired.. (and that is not grabbing her ass!) while sitting on the sofa rub her feet, shoulders (and don't expect sex at that moment), and nice gestures WITHOUT it having to end in sex. If you are from the upbringing of 'that is woman's work' well, good luck because women may tolerate that for awhile, but as time goes on.... they won't! (especially if they work too!) These tips are tried and true with my husband and I-- and he is not a wimpy guy- he has come alonggggg way and I see him as more desirable :) with the more he does around here to help out. You can do it!
p.s. If you try these things... you must do it with a genuine attitude or it won't work! If you do it begrudingly, or just for a few days or complain, etc.- don't get your hopes up. This is something that must grow into a partnership in the marriage. Why should she do it all?
Point taken, but i do really try to help her when ever i can. She is just the type of lady that feels like no one but her can do the things she does.
My children are old enough to help with the house hold chores, but when they try she tells they they did not do it right.
So thanks for the advice and i will give it a try.
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