Way back

Well I was sitting here at work thinking about the last post. Glad that you enjoyed it. I know I really enjoyed the getting drunk part. Got me to thinking about another time I had a few cold beers and pulled a dirty trick.

This was along time ago, I was out of high school but still living at home with my mom and step-dad. I had been dating a girl from another town. Remember I live in Oklahoma and grew up in a small town, so it was not uncommon to date some one from a different town. I had been dating this girl for a few months, and she was dating another guy who lived in my town. He had a house there, but his parents had a house in the town she lived in.
This was the rainy season so the hi-way between our towns was flooded. Me and her had planned to see a movie that night.
But since the rains had came, and the road was flooded I guess she figured that I would not be able to pick her up. What she did not know was that my brother-in-law and my sister had planned to attend a movie that night also. So I was going to catch a ride with them. He had a 4 wheel drive truck.
So I call her to tell her what time we would pick her up. Her sister answers and tells me she is getting ready for a date. I think that is wierd because I had not told her what time I would pick her up. Turns out she is going to go out with him!

I get a little sideways, and call a buddy of mine and we did some drinking and driving. Had a few
6 packs and the more I drank, the more pissed I get about all this. So we decide to drive by his house. His pride and joy camero is sitting at his house and he is gone.
So we decide to let a little air out of his tires. I put rocks on the valve stems and screwed the caps back on just a bit, this slowly lets all the air out if his tires.

We keep drinking and the next morning my sister wakes me up and tells me that this dumbass wants me to come over with my boots, so he can see if they fit the tracks in his yard.
I explain that I will shove a boot up his ass and he can check it!
Needless to say, me and him are not buddies anymore, but she did end up marrying him. I think it was his first piece of ass!
Later
Twisted

Ok a little back tracking

I know that i use this for alot of complaining. Of course it is my blog so i can use it for what ever I want! LOL
I had a wonderful Christmas, spent it with my family, and the girls were with me all day yesterday and christmas eve. They had a blast and my family made sure the girls had plenty of presents too. It was great!

But what i want to talk about is friday night. The girls spent friday night with there mom, so that they could do christmas with her saturday morning. Which meant I had friday night free to do what ever I wanted.

Oh by the way this story is for Innocent and Mack because those 2 ladies can relate! The guy that me and my daughter were living with is a buddy of mine from work. He is a really good guy and has lived around here all of his life. So this means he has a network of friends. We started out friday with some mexican food and beer Dos Equis XX damn that is some good shit!
I only had a few of those. Then we decided that his buddy was going to have a christmas party friday night. Of course he did not know that until we showed up!
We stopped at the package store and bought a half gallon of Rich and Rare, and some jagermiester ( correct spelling?) Now I had never tried any of that fine stuff, but I had heard of it and was a little reluctant at first. But he assured me that it was good.

The rich and rare is blended canadian whiskey. A poor man's crown royal. I mean the 1/2 gallon only cost 19.00. But it tasted fine, as in 3 of us drank all but about 2 drinks of the stuff friday night. And several shots of jager. To help the story along you need to know about another fellow employee. Our network admin here at work is the same age I am. He is also in the middle of ending his 3rd marriage. He went out for mexican with us. He called me about half way into the night of drinking and wanted to know what we were doing. I explained that we were getting fucked up and that he should stop by and have a drink with us. Now this is about 10:00 friday night. He said that he might and i suggested that he better! LOL

Well as the night progresses and I really let loose, i decied that it is a damn shame that he did not show up to drink with us! I start telling my buddy that we should go get his sorry ass. Now you need to know that i drove us to the party and that we planned to sleep there. I have not been drunk in ages, probably a few years. There are 5 of us at the party. We are having it in a guys shop. which is not close to his house at all. Well his wife gets a little bent that we are all getting drunk and she is bitching at him a little. The whiskey is almost gone. And the Jager has been passed around alot. And I decide that I am not staying there and listening to his wife raise hell so 4 of us load up and decide to go pay my fellow co-worker a visit.
But first we stop by walmart at 2:00 christmas eve morning and buy a 24 pack of toilet paper.
Stop of at IHOP for some breakfast and then head over to his house and use 24 rolls of paper to decorate his house, car and trees. Nothing prettier than a house covered with toilet paper and
christmas lights! Then it was home to bed to sleep it off!

Well that was one of the best times i had ever had . Never TP'ed a house before, and i need to get a little drunk. Never hurts.
Well enough of that.
Later
Twisted

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you wonderful folks that stop by to read about my silly life!
Twisted

Friday Friday Friday

We made it folks. It is friday once again. The old end of the week. The start of the weekend.
And for some it is pay day.
Well I am glad it is friday. It took all I could muster to sit around here and look busy all week. Lucky for me, my boss is cool and really does not require us to do anything if we are slow. But I hate sitting here. Trying to keep from falling a sleep. Hell I think 2 days this week I went to sleep with my eyes open. But I made it and I need to find something fun to do tonight since the
girls will be at mom's house. Any of you ladies want to stop by and help me break in the the new bed???

Well I have internet at home now, so I guess life is complete. I can actually blog from home if I want too. But who wants to do that when you can blog from work and get paid for it?
So are there any of you out there that do not blog from work? Anyone left that blogs from home?

Well Christmas is only 2 days away, so I hope you mailed me my present in plenty of time for me to get it before the big day!
Seriously, Merry Christmas everybody. No matter where your at or who your with I hope you have a wonderful time this weekend!
Later
Twisted

All is right with the world

Had a little plumbing problem yesterday. Tub would not drain and the stool would not flush. I hate plumbing problems. But the land lady got us fixed right up. So things are much smoother at home now.
Daughter had a good birthday I guess. I went and checked her out of school about 11:00 yesterday. She was thru will all her semester tests and had begged me to check her out early for her birthday. So I did. We went out to eat Italian at a fast food place. This is what she wanted. She got some money for her birthday. And her little sister did not piss her off so things are looking up.

Oh and we got our phone and dsl turned on yesterday. So daddy is happy too! LOL
Of course I don't have all the computers set up yet, but I will work on that this weekend. In other news, I have not found me a ready and willing woman yet! Of course I have not had the time or money to look for one. And you know I am so wonderful that they would probably just want to move in with me, and we are not having any of that shit!

Well I guess my post yesterday hit home for a few folks. Nothing wrong with remembering your loved ones this time of the year. Even if they drive you crazy the rest of the year!
Later
Twisted

Hump Day

Yep it is hump day again. I know it means the middle of the week. Moving over the hump onto the down side of the week. But where did the saying come from? Does anyone know?
And when did it start?
Well it sure is nice to be in our own house. I sure like watching what I want on t.v. Eating what ever me and the girls want to eat. And it sure is nice sleeping in big bed. For the last month I have been sleeping on my daughters twin mattress on the floor. Now I am not complaining to much but a big fat guy needs more than a twin bed to sleep on.
My mom brought me a queen size bed over the weekend and I have been loving it. Nice and comfy and no one there to hog the covers!
Ok I admit it would be nice to have someone spend a little time in that bed with me. Of course it would probably only be a short time!
LOL
Well my oldest turns 15 today. Man I can remember holding her a few minutes after she was born. They even let me carry her to the nursery to get cleaned up. And today she is 15, and quite the young lady. Time sure flies by. And I miss those babies sitting on my lap and give me wet kisses and hugs.
It brings a tear to my eyes to think that in a few years they will both be grown and gone from my house. I know sometimes I think about how nice it will be to have the house to myself and come and go as I want, but really I will miss those girls so much!
So if you have kids, give them an extra long hug today and just hold them for a minute or two. If your a daughter call your folks today and tell them you love them. For no reason at all.
Later
Twisted

I am getting Old are what?

Ok spent friday and saturday moving into the the new house. And moved a bed in on sunday. Things are starting to take shape in the house, looks almost like people live there now. The girls are great helpers. The oldest worked her tail off and tried to get everything in the right spot.
She set up her room and the kitchen, unpacked alot of the boxes and even helped her little sister
unpack.
But her is the deal. I feel like i carried the house around all weekend on my back. My knees hurt, but calfs hurt. My feet feel like i walked a 1000 miles in shoes that were 3 sizes to small!
Hell if i sit down for 10 minutes it takes me 45 to get up! Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I am just a fatass that needs to get off his beer drinking ass and do something from time to time!

Hell I was thinking about going to the ER here and requesting some replacement surgeries. But then I would have to admit that I am old and fat and falling apart. And even if you are you hate to admit it! So I guess I need to start walking to work or riding a bicycle, or maybe getting up to get my own beer.

And to top it all off. My house is close the local college. So friday night we are moving things into the house when the co-eds next door showup. My oldest is outside and they start asking her what classes she is taking this semester! Damit the girl is only 15!!!!
So I guess I look old enough to have a girl in college.
Just shoot me now.
Later
Twisted

It's Moving Day!

Yep it is finally here. The best day of the year! Moving day! I hate moving, I don't care how excited I am about moving into our new place, I just hate having to move all those boxes and all that furniture. Well I really don't have that much shit, but I still hate having to tote it.
From storage to the truck, from the truck to the house, and then put it all up and try to make the house look like someone with some sense lives there.
But really I am excited about getting to move in, they are supposed to come hook up the cable tomorrow evening. And the phone and possibly the DSL today or first of next week.
Don't know for sure if I will be able to swing the DSL or not, but we will see. Being in the computer field I know that a few of my neighbors have unsecured wireless networks so I can always just jump on one of those for the time being! LOL

O.k. I know I am supposed to just be looking for a booty call, but what the hell is the deal with you ladies? I have a buddy who knows this chick real well, tells her I am a nice enough kind of guy. We chat online for about a week, every night. She gives me a few nice shots on cam. She tells me that she really likes to play with the boys, this is not a problem with me at all.
Sends me text messages during the day about how she knows I am missing her. I admit that I enjoy the chatting, and like talking with her. So wensday night I drop the daughter off at church and make the 20 minute drive to her town. Just to meet each other. She seems real intrested we flirt back and forth. I need to leave and she gives me a real nice hug. I send her a text message asking if she misses me yet. We chat for awhile that night, I tell her how much I enjoyed getting to meet her in person. She says the same. So I sign off and tell her not to think about me to much that night. I don't here shit from her all day yesterday so late evening I send her an offline message. She responds, and nothing today at all.
So what gives?
Help me out here ladies!
Later
Twisted
Oh and have a wonderful weekend

Rant ahead

Ok I have to rant a little. I was reading someone else's blog yesterday and they were discussing all the different religion's and names for the holiday that we celebrate this month.
And sister let me tell you it fired me up. Not the person or the blog, but the fact that we have to
put up with all the other people who come to our country and there bullshit.
It is Christmas, it was started to celebrate the birth of christ! We need to call it Christmas and we need to say Merry Christmas. Not happy fuckin holiday.

It is a christmas tree! Not a holiday tree! I don't care where you come from, or where your going. I don't tell you how to celebrate or how not too! So don't tell me I have to quit saying
Merry Christmas!

I would like to see what happens to you if you as an american went to another country and told them how to celebrate or not. It is bullshit that because you don't believe the way that I do that i should change my believe system to not offend you. This country was founded on freedom of speech and relegion. Shut up and let me believe and practice what I want. The next time someone tells me that I should not say Merry Christmas, I will shove a Christmas tree up there ass!!!
Later
Twisted

Ok time to post

Noticed that it has been a few days since I posted. I am sure that no one else noticed. LOL Well I do know better than that. Seems like I have been getting alot more comments lately and I appreciate them. I like know people are interested in the silly shit I get into and that happens to me.
Well this week will be move in week. Get to move into the new house this weekend. I am really looking forward to it.
I mean I really do appreciate my buddy letting me live on his back porch and all, but I don't really think 2 grown ass men should live in the same house with each other for very long. You know someone has to be the cock of the walk around the house, and a big strapping fellow like me has a hard time playing second fiddle. Really it has not been very hard to get along.
He and his wife have been wonderful to me and my girl. I really am blessed to have such nice friends that are willing to put up with us.
Well I had a big rant brewing but I think I will let it brew another day.
Later
Twisted

It's snowy outside

Well there is snow on the ground here. Yep it snowed yesterday evening and a little more last night. I don't mind the snow, and I don't mind driving in it. But what I do mind are the freaking dumb asses that can't remember how to drive in it since the last time it snowed! Well as a matter of fact most people in this fine state can not remember how to drive in rain, since the last time it did!

I don't know what is so hard about slowing down and taking a little extra time to get home from work. I guess that they would rather die in a firey crash ( I know i wish they would) than get home 10 minutes late. Hell most of them probably don't even want to go home! Hell they are just going to have to listen to there old man bitch and the kids fight. Hell why would you want to hurry home to that?

On a lighter note, I have the kids to my new house now. Of course it will be next week before I get to move in. But at least I have a place to call home now. I have moved a few things into the house. But I will have to wait until my next payday to get the utilities turned on in my name. And it also looks like my youngest daughter will be living with me and my oldest as well. She hates her mom's boyfriend and they just can not get along. So I will have to be responsible for 2 young ladies becoming grown ass women. Damn I pitty the man who tries to marry those girls! LOL
Later
Twisted

Another sunny day

Well things are still looking up for me. It is a sunny day outside, but it is only about 30 degrees. And the wind is blowing something fierce. But my life is sunny and 78. I found a house to rent that will be plenty of room and the cost is about what i had expected.

My sister and a buddy are helping me with some furniture. And my daughter is excited about getting a place of our own. So life is grand today. I really am glad that i finally wised up and took the plunge and moved out of my house. I really do believe that life will be much happier and that my kids will be alot better off.

Now back to my twizted ways. I have not found me a willing partner yet, but then I have not looked very hard either. I have checked out a few yahoo profiles and some criaglist, and adultfriend finder. Just browsing. If anything exciting pops up i will be sure and blog about it.
And i want to thank all you ladies for your quick responses to that question.
Later
Twisted