Question

I have been in a wierd mood. I am having problems sleeping. I wake up about 3:30 or 4 and can not for the life of me get back to sleep. I laying there thinking about what I need to do next.
Where I need to find a place to live. Will it be close enough to my daughters school.
Will it be a safe place for her when I am not home from work yet. All of these questions keeping running thru my head. Damn it makes it hard to sleep. Or should I say very hard to get back to sleep.
I don't know why I am stressing so much over all of this, but I am. And it is starting to take it's toll on me. But I do know that it will all work it's way out. And that worrying about it will not get it taken care of any faster.

Well we have all the christmas decorations up at my buddy's house. His wife let my girls help with the tree this last weekend. We put all the lights up around the house and even added one of this lighted deer that raises it's head up and down. Now damn that thing is the bomb! LMAO

Ok I have a question for the ladies. When your on the make for a little no strings fun. Where do you go looking for it? What kind of place would a woman go to get her freak on? I guess after 3 months of no sex I am in the mood to release a little pressure. I know that woman don't like to share there secrets so email me if you don't want to post the answer to that question.
I know i should not ask, but i need a little help ladies.
Later
Twisted

Another Monday

Yep it is monday again. And I am glad to be back at work. All those days off were taking a toll on me. You can only sleep and drink so much and then your ready to get back to work.

Thanksgiving was the best I think i can remember. I guess when your happy with your life and happy where you are it sure makes a difference. I had a wonderful time with my girls and our family. We had plenty to eat and a wonderful time visiting. It is so nice to be able to enjoy your family with out running inteference. I did not have to worry about the stupid wife saying something to piss people off this year. I did not have to worry about her kids messing with my grandmothers nick nacks. It was wonderful.

See has made an attempt to contact me almost everyday since I left her ass. I think the last time we talked she finally got the message that I really don't care what happens to her dumbass and that I don't need to talk to her everyday, or ever again.

Well I don't have much else to blog about so I guess this is it.
Later
Twisted

Something about me

Ok so if you have been reading this blog lately you know that I am soon to be single again. That is not such a big thing. I have been having trouble at home for about 8 months are so. Things have been shitty. And now they are much better.
It is funny that when you realize that you have been unhappy, how much better things are.
You just find some nice about almost everything that happens. Your glad to get up in the morning, glad to go to work. Glad to go home knowing you don't have fight and argue and be miserable. And it seems that I am able to enjoy my girls so much more. Just happy to be alive I guess.

But I must confess something. In all the relationships I have had in the past, in all the marriages.
When they ended I always had a new one waiting in the wings. I always had someone to give me affection and maybe even direction. A new and exciting romance, something that may or may not have been tried before. I guess I alway felt like I needed someone to be whole or complete.
I guess I just thought that I could not live with out a womans charm.
This is the first relationship I have eneded all alone, and it ain't so bad! I kind of like not worrying about how someone else feels. Not worrying about what they think about the things i do or say.
I know that I still check the ladies out, the way they look or the way they dress. But a relationship is the furthest thing from my mind. Hell I have not even thought about sex! I must have really been in one shitty funk.

I don't know why I told you about all that, but I just thought i should get it off my chest. I guess I am growing up some. Hell it is about time! You would think an old fella like me would be a little smarter by now. Maybe I am.
Later
Twisted

Life Is good

Wow i never realized just how happy you can be living on a porch. My daughter and I are sleeping on a enclosed patio. Yes we have heat. Yes we have access to the running water and the lights and most important to the kitchen!

I never knew that I was so fucking unhappy! I know I have bitched alot on here about the way things were going in my life and at my unhappy home, but I don't think I knew just how bad it really was. I know that I get to take my daughter to school every day. I know i get to see her every afternoon as soon as i get home from work. I know that she is alot happier on that porch than she was living with the evil bitch I called my wife!

She enjoys her new school and her new friends. She looks forward to going to school and coming home and spending some time with her old fat daddy. I now know that i neglected my girls alot in the last 10 years or so. I know I can't get those years back but I can make the best of the time we get to be together now.
Well I was able to speak to an old friend this morning and it was very nice. I hope i continue to get to be friends with them.
And I want you all to know that if your relationship in shitty. Flush it and get the hell out! Life is to short to be unhappy!!!
Later
Twisted

Freedom

Well I did it. My daughter and I are living with a friend of mine from work. He and his wife have some extra room so it is not a problem. My soon to be ex had me in a really bad finical way, so it will probably be the first of the year before I can get us a place of our own.

You just don't know how much better i feel, I have a much better out look on life right now, it is like the first day of the rest of my life. My daughter seems to be much happier too. She is excited about school in this new town, and the possibilities. So things are looking up, I am sure my post will be alot more positive.

And I want to thank all of you for your kind comments, and encouraging words. They really help.
Thank you
Later
Twisted

It's time

Well i have made a decision. I am leaving my wife. This weekend i will pack up what i can carry in my mini-van and move my daughter and I into spare room at a friend of mine's house. I just can't stand to be alone in my own home. The soon to be ex and I have not even had a conversation in over a week.
Not so much as a hi, bye or kiss my ass! She does not speak to me and I damn sure don't speak to her.
We have not had sex in over a month. I have not had a passionte kiss from her in over 4 months. I fucking hate living like that, i just can not continue to put up with the bullshit.

Damn i feel better just getting that off my chest. I have been stressed to the point of doing something stupid. I can't eat don't sleep worth a damn and I have been one moody mother......

I have talked to my daughter about this and she is all for moving and starting over again. She is the best kid, it will be the 3rd school in one year that she has atteneded, and the lowest grade she has is an 87 and she is upset about that.

Well now you know what is going on with me, and thanks for all the positive comments, I know things will get better, but sometimes it is just hard to see that far ahead.
Later
Twisted

Yep Still here

Ok I am still here. Still trying to figure out what to do now. I have been going thru some shitty times at home. Things at work are o.k. but home is a real suck as place right now.
I am sure you have better things to do than to worry and wonder what has been going on with me but i will tell you anyway.

A couple weeks ago i took a week off to stay home and watch the kids go to and from school. My daughter is 14 so she is not really the one i was worried about. step-daughter is 5 and in pre-school so i was really taking off to watch her. But my wife decided to have her mom watch the baby instead. So i really did not need to miss a week from work, but i had time built up so i got paid for it, so that is a plus.
The reason i needed to be home? The wife was going out of state for a business meeting. Now she has only been with this company for a year and has been to the home office 3 times for training. I don't know why the have to go so much but she does.
Now the week before she left we found out she was being transfered to another complex ( apartment complex) it is closer to where i work but is 50 miles from our house. We means that we could ride together but would need someone to take her daughter to school and pick her up.
The week the wife came back from training she was told she would have to start the new job the next week on tuesday. Now we did not have anyone to tote the baby back and forth to and from school so this was a problem.
So she took a week off work to figure this out, so that meant she started her new job last friday.

We have been fighting for about 7 months non-stop, about bullshit. So we rode to work on friday
50 miles together with out a word being spoken. Now don't get me wrong i like some quiet from time to time but it sucked!
So she gets to work friday, the boss is off sick, and a boss from home office comes down and
fires my wife on her first day at her new place.
So we are a one income family now, and she is at home sitting on her fat ass not doing a thing to help out the situation.

I have decided that i can't stand living like this anymore a few weeks ago, but i just cant call it quits when i know she has no job and a baby to take care of!
So that is the tale i have to tell about my shitty life.
Later
Twisted